Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Wisdom of Julia Gillard

Prime Ministerial Economics

The PM tells us
that money won’t grow on trees!
No!  We never knew.

She also opines
cash can’t come from thin air—yet
she’ll tax CO2.*

Prime Ministerial Promises

Julia Gillard
swore there’d be no ‘carbon’ tax.
Her word is not true;

clearly, she utters
foolishness, false oaths, and lies—
and more than a few.

Prime Ministerial Nannying

“You must eat your greens,”
says Gillard, “for only I
know what’s best for you

“and, since my ‘Nay’ means
‘Yea’ sometimes, do as I say 
and not as I do.”

Prime Ministerial Semantics

Voters distrust her
and more and more people have
a sceptical view.

Gillard blames Abbott.
“I have a cunning scheme which
he dares misconstrue:

“he attacks my tax
as a ‘carbon’ tax;  but it’s
a price I pursue!”

(Earlier, Gillard
was “happy” to use the word
that now she’d eschew.)

Prime Ministerial Divagations

She has seen the pit
below, and Lucifer and
all his retinue;

she’s “literally
been to hell and back”, she claims.
She hasn’t a clue.§

*  see ABC/AAP; and see “375 Days until Labor’s Thin Air Tax”, by Tim Blair.  See also “The Prime Minister’s Respect for Science”, at Impact of Climate Change.
†  a ‘carbon’ tax is the right thing for the planet:  “It’s the equivalent of saying ‘eat your vegetables’, I suppose,” our widdiful Prime Nanny admitted on Sydney radio.  (Updated Tuesday, 28, June.)
‡  according to ABC News, the Prime Minister said, “I’ve always been determined to create an emissions trading scheme and I’ve always been determined that the fixed-price period would be as short as possible and we would get to that emissions trading scheme, [...] What Tony Abbott likes to refer to as a ‘carbon’ tax, a fixed-price period, before an emissions trading scheme should be as short as possible.”  Back in February, the Prime Minister said this:  “Well, can I say this is a market-based mechanism to price carbon.  It has a fixed price period at the start, a price that will be fixed.  That is effectively a tax and I’m happy to say the word tax.”  (Updated Friday, 1, July.)
§  see “Our Heroic Leader or εἰς κόρακας”.   (Added Tuesday, 5, July.)

UPDATE I (3 August):  Prime Ministerial Similarities with President Obama
They’re equally wise.
Another manufactured
crisis?  Join the queue.

Let’s have ponzi schemes
as vital as “climate-change
Déjà vu.
UPDATE II (18 September):  Prime Ministerial Similarities with Pinocchio
“I’m not telling lies,”
the prime minister shouts, but
her long nose just grew.
See also “The Elocution of Julia Gillard”.

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